A few years ago, I went to an osteopath who informed me that my ‘lines’ or ‘chords’ or whatever the fuck he called them, were a “mess”. I didn’t care for his subtle-touch, cranial approach at the time—I’m more of the school that if someone’s effectively beating the shit out of me with their elbows, […]

Autumn is probably the most evocative season for me. The smell of damp earth with its undertones of entropy, and the freshness and slight Arctic bite of the air is welcome reprieve after the humidity and pong of summer. In fashion terms, it’s my favourite time of year—being able to dust off and don my […]

Last night I dreamt that my landlady wanted us out. In my dream the flat was the same one we live in in reality, located in South London, with the same annoyingly abundant downlights that blow far too frequently. Though, as is often the case in dreams, the flat was amalgamated with various fragmented memories […]

Sometimes I doubt my commitment to my online profile. Sometimes I forget what my motivation is and the point of the exercise (the exercise of blogging) gets lost. By that I mean, the whole premise for the blog’s existence was to draw me out of the confines of a written journal in the hopes of […]

For many years I have been convinced I’m psychic. Specifically, a TV psychic. There were certain flirtations with other phenomena when I was little. I used to believe for example, that my bluebird of happiness ring possessed the power to influence the physical world if I simultaneously thought of an event and swivelled it around […]

Back in June, it was my friend’s birthday and to her party I had offered to bring the birthday cake. Unfortunately, not only did I get the date of the party wrong (discovered by virtue of a rather awkward text asking where I was), but on the day I finally arrived, the cake itself was […]

Being only three, my recollection of nursery is patchy at best. But one thing I am certain of: I wasn’t popular. It was the 80s and Sydney suburbia so it didn’t take much to be considered socially leftfield. My dad has on occasion alluded to the possibility that the way I dressed had something to […]

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